Oh Mother!

Carol Brady aka Super Mom
Posted by Hello

A Mother's Day Commentary ( early, because I will be busy all weekend )

Note: I had made this well thought out post, and *BAM*, the server went bunk and I lost it.
I don't think I could retrieve ( mentally ) everything word for word...so I'll just bullet thru and see what happens.

*I have issues about Mother's Day because of my own screwed up relationship with my mom. For years, I have often gotten jealous on this particular day because I think of the really good mom-daughter relationships out there and hate that I got shafted. I am the girl in the Hallmark store trying to find the non-mushy, non-emotional "fart joke" card because LOVE and MY MOM don't mix. I find I am buying the card out of guilt, not because I want to tell her how wonderful she is or thank her for all she's done. She did not teach me about love or show me love ( in the right ways ) and in turn it's caused me years of angst and confusion about how I really feel about my mom. But, that's my saga. She's not a horrible person, but she should have tried HARDER to be BETTER.

*After saying all that above, I also feel I have no right to complain about my Mother's Day issues, because I have good friends that have lost their moms ( way earlier than they should have ) and I know they'd give anything to have them back - even for just that one day - so I feel like my rant isn't as legit as theirs could be. If I could bring those moms magically back for them, I would. I may complain, but I also know it would be pretty upsetting if she were gone.

* I can't say Mother's Day is a total bust for me, because now I'M a mom and I reap the benefits of the day ( whatever they might be. ) I only hope my kids feel love and affection and happiness towards me on this day in the future and not the dark cloud in my brain that I get. I will say this though - the neglect, violence, cruelty and mistakes my mother made have turned me into a better mom. It taught me EVERYTHING a mother should NOT do. All the hugs I didn't get, I have plenty for my kids. All the talks we should have had, I will discuss endlessly with my kids. All the abuse I suffered, my kids will never understand or experience. And they will never be able to say "My mother never said I Love You".....like I can.

*I've met some incredible moms in my years. Moms filled with such love, respect, and inspiration for their kids. Moms that make you say "Let me be HALF the person she is."
I love those moms. I've also met some shitty moms too. Moms who are selfish, neglectful, and totally unaware of the damage they are doing. Moms that make you say "Wow, I feel so bad
for those kids." Unfortunately, it seems like there are more of the bad than good.

*I'm not the only girl on the planet with Mom grievances. I think even the best mom can do a few annoying things from time to time. I know the most patient mom can have that moment where she is so tempted to slap her child. I know the most loving mom can have that moment where she just wants to walk out of the house and scream. I know the most giving mom can have that moment of "Jesus, do I have to read that AGAIN?" at bed time.
We aren't perfect. We just feel we have to be. Some make it look easier than others. Some give up.

To all you moms out there, doing it solo. To all you moms out there, sacrificing your life to make sure your child has better than you did. To all you moms out there that are tired and depressed because you feel like you aren't doing a good job. To all you working moms out there that go non-stop and still make quality time for your kid. To all you stay at home moms that don't get any adult interaction for days on end ( except when Dad comes home. )
I salute you.
Happy Mother's Day

PS: So this doesn't look all bad, my mom can be very funny - she spoils her grandson rotten ( whether we want to or not ) and she's always willing to spend money on something silly for me.
She has her good side. Not everything bad from the past was entirely her fault.
Wait until June when you see my Father's Day rant......

Tracy Bonham - Mother Mother.mp3
Danzig - Mother.mp3