Happy Memorial Day

Like you care. It's an extra day off from work for most people. That's the best part about it.
My weekend has and will continue to be about eating a ton of food. Lots of family here to celebrate our niece turning one. Good times. Will eat my weight in macaroni salad tomorrow.
I have nothing.
Wasteful, boring post.
I owe you one.

Don't be a bummer, Summer

Summer is here.
It didn't greet Austin kindly, with a few gentle hints of its' arrival.
Instead it came like an onslaught of smacks to the face. More like suckerpunchs, actually. While we all know it gets hot in Texas, we were treated to a big surprise from Mother Nature. We got a record high of 97 degrees on Saturday. That's QUITE high for May. Nobody expected it or was too ready for it. Then to make things more exciting, on Sunday we watched the mercury bubble towards 99 degrees. I think we were just one notch cooler than Hell. That first taste was pretty brutal. By 11am on Saturday, the sun felt like a hundred burning angry fists, and I was getting pummelled. Our trip to the Farmer's Market ended quite abruptly. I found I couldn't focus on the bounty of organic veggies and raw milk cheeses due to my panting and fear of melting in my place. Being pregnant and just getting over a chest cold SURELY didn't help my situation either. Knocked up in Texas summer. It is quite a cruel joke. At least by Sunday we were prepared for the worst.

I'm an admitted heat pussy. I lived in New England for 33 years. I understand wind chill factors, not heat indexes and high pressure systems that suck the clouds out of the sky. While it gets hot up North, it doesn't get TEXAS hot. While it does hit the 90's in Boston, it doesn't hit it for one month straight. Or two. Don't get me started with that bullshit of "It's a dry heat." To quote my friend, Buddy: "Anyone that says that should be shot in the taint." So eloquent, so true. Ever been to Las Vegas in June? Dry heat my ass!!! It was 107 degrees of evil desert heat and it felt like walking thru a pizza oven. My move to Texas had me a bit worried. I wasn't sure I would be able to stand a powerful summer that went from May ( sometimes April ) to October. I've held my own though. You may have caught me off-guard this weekend, but I'm back on my feet. I'm ready for you now, Summer! Give me some scorching pavement? I've got my flip flops. Turn my car into a sauna? I'll just crank the icy A/C! Think you can invade my home? Try to get past my central air conditioning! I dare you!!! And to up the ante, I've got SPF 45, a sun hat, and an inground pool, you scalding motherfucker!!! May a 1000 popsicles be rammed up your sunny anus!

Jane's Addiction - Summertime Rolls.mp3
The Sundays - Summertime.mp3
B-52's - Summer Of Love.mp3

Kiss My Grits

Flo from ALICE - Posted by Hello

MAY 21st is "NATIONAL WAIT STAFF DAY"!!!

Hey Good Lookin? Whatcha Got Cookin?

"Hello. My name is Jill, and I'm addicted to cookbooks."

( group in unison ) "Hello Jill."

It's true. I've been a cookbook addict for about - um - 6 years now. I'd always loved scouring the pages and being intrigued by a particular theme cookbook or one by a favorite chef, but slowly, it started getting out of hand. The 4 or 5 that I'd had soon multiplied to....108. Yes. 108.
And I didn't even count the recipes I've torn out of magazines that I've saved, or the HUGE manila folder of hand-written recipes that I jotted down during my "boring time" while manning the reception desk at Tower Records. The recipe collecting started before the cookbook collecting. We had a large magazine section in the store, and I would bring up Bon Appetite, Cooking Light, Saveur, Food & Wine, etc. and write down the recipes I found tasty or intriguing. I ended up having a huge stack of pages, seeing as I did this for months. Oh yeah, there's my online Word Document that is set aside for recipes I find online as well. It's about 13 pages long at the moment.

Cookbook Junkie. Recipe Whore. That's me.

Is there a method to my cookbook madness? Yes and no. There are specific types of cookbooks I like to collect ( my main focus being the hardbound Better Homes & Garden series from the late 1950's to early 1970's - which I have about 25+ of and I'm still hunting a particular few. ) These are scavenged from Ebay, Goodwill, and other various thrift stores. Mostly, it's the photography of the food I'm fascinated with. That particular time period was all about "make it pretty" ( which means gaudy ) and some of the recipes are too hilarious for words. Aspic? Ham N' Lima Bake? I don't think so. I also love kitschy things, like old County Fair cookbooks, celebrity cookbooks ( I have a Minnie Pearl one that I cherish ) , and other quirky things like that. If I can find the bizarre, I'm all for it. My weirdest is a cookbook all about insects. No joke. Put together by a nutritionist and a scientist. Some bugs are QUITE good for you, actually. If you are ever feeling peckish for some "Stinkbug Pate", drop me a line. My cookbook love is also serious too. I DO love to cook ( as does my husband ) - and we never get enough chance to in the ways we'd like - but I like having this arsenal in my kitchen to run to. I love to learn. I watch the Food Network ALL the time. My favorite type of food is italian ( my guinea roots ) therefore, you will find books from Biba Gaggiano, Mario Batali, The North End, and even The Sopranos on my shelf. I'm a sucker for Jamie Oliver ( I heart the Naked Chef ) so I have 3 or 4 from his series. Since I'm a Texan now, I've got a few books to help me learn true cowboy cuisine, yet I still have my Yankee pride and I've got my New England gaggle of books to keep me grounded ( Durgin Park! ) Be it vintage, new, Ming Tsai, Red Sage, Garlic, Fondue, Rick Bayless, Bread: I have books that run the gamut of gastronomy ( does that even make sense? ) and I plan on getting more and more. I loooove my large bookshelf in the kitchen just STACKED with my cookbooks. I know they say that it's a mild form of OCD to get obsessed with collecting items, but I'll take it!!!

PS: If Chef Masaharu Morimoto ever comes out with a cookbook, I will crap myself with joy.
I love him like little girls love Hilary Duff.

Louis Jordan - Beans And Cornbread.mp3
Dinah Shore - Shoofly Pie.mp3
Outkast - Fish & Grits.mp3
Louis Prima - My Cucuzza.mp3
Ween - Pork Roll Egg And Cheese.mp3

They say it's your birthday

Send in the clowns.....
Posted by Hello

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDY COLLINS!!!!

Dream A Little Dream

Zzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Hello

This morning, I woke up and realized I just had the STRANGEST dream.
I don't remember all of it, all I know is that at one point I was watching Thomas the Tank Engine on tv, and he was singing "Cities in Dust" by Siouxsie & The Banshees. What's weirder is that there was no acknowledgement in the dream about the song ( like "Oh, he's singing Siouxsie." ) I just happened to wake up RIGHT after I had it, and the words to the song were still in my head. After running the lyrics in my brain for a few seconds, I realized what it was.

Weird? I think so. It was like my world and my son's world collided in my mind.

I'm a dreamer. My whole life I've had vivid, memorable dreams.
I have also suffered from horrible nightmares my whole life too.
Admittedly, they've mellowed a little bit....but when a doozie hits....watch out. For about 10 years, I was having steady dreams about tornadoes. Very frightening, action-packed nightmares where I could see these giant twisters either on the horizon coming towards me, or I was trapped in a house or basement somewhere while they ripped the place to pieces. I came to find out later ( thanks to my therapist ) that tornadoes in dreams signify "anxiety - fear of the unknown". Yeah, that's me. This was the same woman that diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder, so hearing that information wasn't exactly shocking. My nightmares are also the things that would make Clive Barker jizz in his pants. If only there was a way to somehow "zap" my nightmares onto video, I'd own Wes Craven. Very bloody, gorey, disturbing....the one I had about Sylvester Stallone as a vampire was so fucked up and gross that I will never forget it. Okay, it's disturbing enough that I dreamt about Sly, but in this dream, I watched someone put a meathook in his eye and then for what seemed like 45 minutes, I watched them slowly drag the hook thru his eye socket, forehead, skull. It wouldn't end. Larger than life and in full technicolor. Sick sick shit. All from my head.

I've also had this re-occurring dream that pops up every 6 months to a year that isn't exactly a nightmare, but it's not that fun either. It's about me having to go thru high school again. For some reason my 1987 graduation was bogus - almost as if it never happened - and I had to go back. I've woken up thinking it was real for a moment too ( but this was back when I did a lot of drugs, so...... )

Of course, I love a good sex dream. Who doesn't?!? I remember being in high school, and I went thru this phase where it felt like I could totally control my dreams, and I was going to bed early so I could create these elaborate sexual fantasies with me and John Taylor. Aaaah, memories.
It's nice to wake up knowing a sex dream snuck up on you during your slumber. Wow, Jeremy Irons wanted *ME* to give him head? Awesome!! That threesome with Angelina Jolie and Prince was HOT!! Not sure if it's just me, but I have such a lengthy photographic memory, that LOTS of things stay in my head for yeaaaaaaaaars. I still recall a dream I had in 3rd grade about our guidance counselor ( Mrs. Callahan ) and her dolphin hand puppet ( Duso the Dolphin...don't even get me going about the song about him ) and in the dream I sat in her office and poured bottles of ketchup all over this box of Colorforms. This dream is over 25 years old, but it's still stamped in my mind like it was yesterday. Then there was the 6th grade dream about me being one of The Warriors ( a Baseball Fury ) . My friend Dee Dee was so enthralled with that one that she made me repeat it at lunch time. There are many more just like that filed away in the "Dream" cabinet in my skull.

I hope to keep dreaming this way. Well, the shitty stuff can go disappear and I wouldn't mind, but I love having such wild stuff go on in my head. Except for anything sad or scary involving my husband or kids. Hate it. HAAAAAAAAATE it. Nothing worse than spontaneous tears on your pillow at 3am because of something fucked up that startled you out of a deep sleep. Oh yeah, vomit too. Can't handle vomit in real life, let alone in my dreams. But if some nights I get a chance to dance with Eddie Izzard in a mud pit or let John Waters paint my toenails, that's a damn good night. Even if it's in my mind.

The Cure - If Only Tonight We Could Sleep.mp3
Megadeth - Wake Up Dead.mp3
Fleetwood Mac - Dreams.mp3
Connie Francis & Hank Williams - Send Me The Pillow You Dream On.mp3

B.S.S.

Being. Sick. Sucks.

Actually, I'm not the one who is sick. Thankfully. And I hope I didn't jinx myself by saying that and come down with this nastiness in the next 36 hours. My husband and son are sick. Husband is on the mend, back at work, functioning properly. He battled his disease demons already. The son isn't doing so hot. Common fever ( fevers are good by the way, they can just be frightening at times if they get too high ) and a sore throat. A little booger action. Sore throats and toddlers don't mix. They make for one cranky, sad individual. Right now I'm grateful for Whole Fruit popsicles, Throat Coat tea, Children's Tylenol, and Dora the Explorer. Without this combination, I might climb the nearest, tallest tree and jump. When your kid is sick, it's nerve-wracking. I try to remain levelheaded and calm and very "Aw, he'll be fine" ( even though my stomach is in knots over it.) You feel helpless and anxious, worry about it getting worse, watch for symptoms, try anything to make them feel better. My poor little guy. He's being a trooper.

I'm not a good sick patient. I can tough it out like the best of them, but I can also get very crybaby whiny over things like a sinus infection ( crying and sinus infections don't mix either. ) I HAVE to have tissues with lotion in them. I HAVE to have certain kinds of orange juice. I HAVE to have specific cough drops. Yeah, I get rather 'Mommie Dearest' when I'm on my sick bed. Not always though. Back in March, the husband had to go away for 4 days to San Francisco ( gaming conference ) and wouldn't you know, I get sick the day he's leaving. And I mean SICK. The head, the throat, the sinuses, the chest, the cough. Fucking miserable. Newly pregnant too ( which wasn't making me feel too swell to begin with ), a major cold, and playing Super Parent for the next 100 hours, SOLO. It was NOT fun.

Anyway. That's all I can muster today for my blog. A post plagued with illness and "bleh". We ALL slept like shit last night ( up off and on checking temperatures and responding to tears ) and I'm on Mom-Autopilot ( which feels like one notch above "Re-Animator Zombie". ) Fingers crossed that what he has doesn't get worse and we end up at a doctor's office. Oh yeah, and that I don't catch this funk.

Mudhoney - Touch Me, I'm Sick.mp3

La Mosca Bionica!!

Ole!
Posted by Hello

Actually, La Mosca Bionica means "The Bionic Fly".
What I really should be saying is HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

Like you REALLY care, huh? Unless you are mexican, not many people give a hoot. No offense to my mexican "hermanos y hermanas", but it's true. I don't think we ever learned about it in school ( go figure - white bread small town in Massachusetts. ) But, I'm down for it!!

Depending on where you live, this day might not even register a 'blip' on your social event calendar, but here in Austin - it's pretty big. Weekend long fiestas, car shows, and every mexican joint packed to the rafters. Hey, if I could, I'd be sucking down a delicious top shelf Mexican Martini at Trudy's tonight. Pregnancy got in the way of that though.

So, go roast some cabrito on the grill, gobble up some menudo, have some churros for dessert, and wash it all down with an icy glass of horchata.

Hasta luego!

Bert Kaempfert - Mexican Shuffle.mp3

Oh Mother!

Carol Brady aka Super Mom
Posted by Hello

A Mother's Day Commentary ( early, because I will be busy all weekend )

Note: I had made this well thought out post, and *BAM*, the server went bunk and I lost it.
I don't think I could retrieve ( mentally ) everything word for word...so I'll just bullet thru and see what happens.

*I have issues about Mother's Day because of my own screwed up relationship with my mom. For years, I have often gotten jealous on this particular day because I think of the really good mom-daughter relationships out there and hate that I got shafted. I am the girl in the Hallmark store trying to find the non-mushy, non-emotional "fart joke" card because LOVE and MY MOM don't mix. I find I am buying the card out of guilt, not because I want to tell her how wonderful she is or thank her for all she's done. She did not teach me about love or show me love ( in the right ways ) and in turn it's caused me years of angst and confusion about how I really feel about my mom. But, that's my saga. She's not a horrible person, but she should have tried HARDER to be BETTER.

*After saying all that above, I also feel I have no right to complain about my Mother's Day issues, because I have good friends that have lost their moms ( way earlier than they should have ) and I know they'd give anything to have them back - even for just that one day - so I feel like my rant isn't as legit as theirs could be. If I could bring those moms magically back for them, I would. I may complain, but I also know it would be pretty upsetting if she were gone.

* I can't say Mother's Day is a total bust for me, because now I'M a mom and I reap the benefits of the day ( whatever they might be. ) I only hope my kids feel love and affection and happiness towards me on this day in the future and not the dark cloud in my brain that I get. I will say this though - the neglect, violence, cruelty and mistakes my mother made have turned me into a better mom. It taught me EVERYTHING a mother should NOT do. All the hugs I didn't get, I have plenty for my kids. All the talks we should have had, I will discuss endlessly with my kids. All the abuse I suffered, my kids will never understand or experience. And they will never be able to say "My mother never said I Love You".....like I can.

*I've met some incredible moms in my years. Moms filled with such love, respect, and inspiration for their kids. Moms that make you say "Let me be HALF the person she is."
I love those moms. I've also met some shitty moms too. Moms who are selfish, neglectful, and totally unaware of the damage they are doing. Moms that make you say "Wow, I feel so bad
for those kids." Unfortunately, it seems like there are more of the bad than good.

*I'm not the only girl on the planet with Mom grievances. I think even the best mom can do a few annoying things from time to time. I know the most patient mom can have that moment where she is so tempted to slap her child. I know the most loving mom can have that moment where she just wants to walk out of the house and scream. I know the most giving mom can have that moment of "Jesus, do I have to read that AGAIN?" at bed time.
We aren't perfect. We just feel we have to be. Some make it look easier than others. Some give up.

To all you moms out there, doing it solo. To all you moms out there, sacrificing your life to make sure your child has better than you did. To all you moms out there that are tired and depressed because you feel like you aren't doing a good job. To all you working moms out there that go non-stop and still make quality time for your kid. To all you stay at home moms that don't get any adult interaction for days on end ( except when Dad comes home. )
I salute you.
Happy Mother's Day

PS: So this doesn't look all bad, my mom can be very funny - she spoils her grandson rotten ( whether we want to or not ) and she's always willing to spend money on something silly for me.
She has her good side. Not everything bad from the past was entirely her fault.
Wait until June when you see my Father's Day rant......

Tracy Bonham - Mother Mother.mp3
Danzig - Mother.mp3

FYI

Remember kids: At the end of each month, I will "archive" ( ie: yank ) all the mp3's from that month. Seeing as it's now May 1st, it means all the mp3's from April posts will go bye-bye.
I know. Don't cry.
It's so I can keep my download folder less crowded and the cyber buzzards off of my ass.
Ya dig?

I don't have much to add today, but I will submit one of my favorite photos.
It makes me smile so.



WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!