Drugs are bad, mmkay?

Rail anyone?
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Cocaine*: a crystalline narcotic alkaloid refined from the cocoa plant that acts as a powerful short-acting stimulant and is pharmacologically similar to amphetamines.

*Also known as: blow, charlie, scarface, angie, cheese, powder, base, icing, perico, nose candy, shmeck, belushi, snow, gak, blizzard, serpico, chaz, big c, lady caine, schoolboy, blanca, aunt nora, foo foo, jelly, bernie, mama coca, flake, sneeze, cecil, happy dust, scottie, merk, disco, movie star, sleigh ride, paradise white, snort, wooly, stardust.....

There was a time in my life when I LOOOOOOVED this drug.
I didn't own me. I didn't have a problem where I needed to go to rehab. But, I did let it get out of control at times, and I know it had a stronger pull on me than I expected.

First time I tried it was Fall of 1992. A roommate of mine ( and her boyfriend ) brought some home. I know she had done it before, and I was curious. I was 23. I wasn't drug free by any means at this time ( I was quite a pothead ) and I thought "Why not?" That's when the love affair began. I say this now: If you have never tried it and you THINK it might be something you would enjoy - DON'T DO IT. Trust me....

Long story short, I spent the next few years getting coked out of my mind on most weekends.
Taking money out of my rent and grocery funds to pay for drugs. Not paying my rent for 3 months one time because I had blown it on booze and blow. Meeting and hanging out with people and you would NEVER want to hang out with because you had drugs. Seeing 7am after not having been to bed yet. Sinus shut down. Greediness. Life of the party. Teeth grinding. The drip. The ritual, the camaraderie, the distance, the fake enthusiasm. I've had amazing nights on it and I've had awful nights on it. Sunday mornings where you need to get to work, and you are coming down hard and feeling like death, but you still need to snort a little to keep you from crashing. Sharing bathrooms in crowded nightclubs, offering keybumps out of your paper stash.
Hours and hours and hours of meaningless, excited chatter amongst coked up friends. The silent group circling around the mirror - watching the chop - anxious - waiting.

One day I finally said ( as I was FLYING high on some decent stuff we got ) "Is this fun? I feel like crap. How is this fun?" and I decided at that moment that I had to stop. That was in 1995.
Cut to 10 years later. Do I think about it?
Yes.
Have I wanted to buy some in the last 10 years?
Yes.
Have I had to leave a party or a room because someone had it in front of me and the temptation was too great?
Yes.
Can I still recall the smell and taste of it? If I watch someone do it in movies, do I get a slight longing for it?
Yes. Yes. Yes. and Yes.

Pretty powerful stuff, huh? And I wasn't even some junkie cokefiend. THAT'S how intense the stuff is. TEN YEARS after the fact. I'm 36 now. About to be a mom to TWO boys. I know what I can and can't do with my life, and cocaine is one of them. It's bad news ( despite some of the enjoyment it did give me. ) It CAN kill you. You don't always know what you are getting. And it really fucks up your body. Be smart. Don't do it.

Eric Clapton - Cocaine.mp3
Dillinger - Cocaine ( Running Around My Brain ).mp3
Queens Of The Stone Age - Feel Good Hit Of The Summer.mp3
Johnny Cash - Cocaine Blues ( live at Folsom Prison ).mp3